|Bethany on Outreach to El Salvador.|
"This is not the life I expected. This is not the life I wanted. This is not the life I dreamed of. This is much, much better.
I’ve known since I was 15 that I was supposed to do YWAM. Originally the plan was to do it after high school. Then after high school, the plan was to do it after college and before grad school. By the time grad school rolled around, it was no longer in the plans. I was focused. I had a life plan: graduate; get a career; buy a house; get married; have kids; the end. However, in April of 2010, my plans were beginning to go awry. I was about to graduate from grad school with no job offers in sight, and my on again/off again boyfriend was most definitely off again. I was frustrated and felt trapped. I needed to get away from the familiar. I needed to run. So. What did I do? I joined YWAM.
As you can tell, my reasons for signing up for DTS were far from holy. In fact, if I were to be completely honest, Jesus was one of the last reasons I was signing up. I saw that Destination Paradise had an internship component and thought that would be an excellent way to get a job after the program. My choices were were well thought out and practical. I had a plan, and Jesus had little to do with it. But it was about to be changed. The first week of DTS I was told that what I put into the school was exactly what I would get out of it. That got me thinking. I couldn’t remember the last time I had given 100% to anything. I couldn’t remember the last time I had really tried at anything. A lot of people had supported me financially to get to Belize. I had put quite a bit of money into it as well. I wanted a return on the investment. So, that week, I made a commitment. I told Jesus that I would give 100% to the school, and dared Him to change my life and make a return on my investment. That choice changed my life.
I started reading my Bible daily. Paying attention in lectures. Being mentored. Praying. The God I had known before as distant and demanding began revealing Himself as one that loved me, understood me, and wanted to live life with me. This transformed me. I had lost all passion and purpose, and found it and more in Him.
So. This process began a year and a half ago, as a young woman running away. Where am I now? In Granada,Nicaragua, finishing up my internship. And that internship? The one that was supposed to give me a career with security ,a house, and a family after? That has become a yearlong commitment with a possibility of staying even longer. A far cry from anything I expected. But the joy I have found in obeying and following my Jesus is more than any career or relationship could ever offer. This is not the life I expected. This is not the life I wanted. This is not the life I dreamed of. This is much, much better. "